Day 18 - My Sister

My sister Tabatha is seriously one of the sweetest gals around. I have so enjoyed watching her grow-up. I remember everything about her. I remember when she was born, her babyhood, and her girlhood. She is one of the most important people to me in my world. I love her so much, but my love for her is so different than most. Sometimes I love her like my sister, sometimes I am fiercely protective of her as if she were my own child, and others she is a mother to me and I want to curl up with her and just be with her like a child. A sister is something everyone should have if they are a woman. I feel bad for those who don't have a sister. Friends will fill the void if you need them to, but a sister is so different. She was there at the start of it all. And if you were much older than she, you knew her from her time in the womb. It is a bond that I am blessed to have.


A sister will nuture you when your mother can't, or atleast a good one will. I know that years from now my sister will still give me a taste of my mother even when she is gone from this earth. I take comfort in that. I hold on to that.


Tabby was the cutest child. She would sit and talk for hours to her baby dolls. She loved to dress them up. I remember this Elephant phase she went through. I watched Dumbo so much that one year. It was torture. She would get in her jammies, slide into her elephant sleeping bag, and drink her "oclate" (chocolate milk) as she watched Dumbo.


She would pat her hair down her forhead while she drank her oclate. Her little lips poking out in a kissy face as she chugged down the sippy cup. She still has her chocolate milk. I joke with her and call it her "beer". She puts the girls to bed, watches her movies she has recorded and drinks her chocolate. Cracks me up. Her husband even knows to back up and give her some room during that time! LOL


Tabby has grown into this wonderful woman who loves her family and gives so much. I love her heart. I am also thrilled beyond words that she has her salvation and I will see her even beyond this world. Many do not know that for sure, I do.


I still think of her as my baby sometimes. I would carry her down the hall when it was dark. I was terrified of the dark. I laugh about it now because she couldn't have kept me safe. But she made me feel safer. Safety in numbers and all that.


I have so many stories because she is my sibling. It would take blogs upon blogs to document it all. Noah is about to wake-up...so no time for that. I just wanted her to know that I love her with all of my heart. There is no other person in the world I would want for my sister. She lives in my heart in a variety of ways. I will always be her "Eha". I promise.


I want her to know how proud of her I am. I love how she loves her family she has created. What a wonderful mama she is. She loves her husband, too! What a rare treasure she is to the girls and to Bobby. They are blessed to have her as the mama in the family.


So glad I have my "Bae-tha" to live this life with. :)

Day 14 ~ My Husband

The love of my life and I have been married for 13 years today! I must say that it doesn't feel like 13 years, more like 3. We have had such a full life together. These past few months a shift has taken place. I had always heard of this shift. I never really understood it. You know, the one that puts your mate in this new light in your eyes. He isn't just my passionate love of my youth, he is more, he means more than that now. Matthew is the one I crave to watch every movie with, to wash dishes with, to laugh with, to just be with. I am comfortable in his presence.


Nothing in the world is better than the way I feel with him. I am so safe. We talk about everything. We argue about everything. HEE HEE. But it is changing, even the disagreements. I don't know how to explain this change. We know we can be who we are with each other and that the other will love us no matter what. It is very wonderful.


Matthew picks on me more than when I was his girl bride so long ago. He had to stop back then or I would resort to tears! Silly girl.


I love the way he rushes home to do anything to help me. That man has done more laundry, cooking, cleaning, and child rearing than I ever thought he would need to do. He never complains. He always tells me he wishes to do more.


Many people have felt I depend on him too much. I tell him this and his eyes get big and he shakes his head really big and exclaims that is nonsense and that he loves that I need him. Have I ever mentioned how I love that man?


Our third birth was so neat. As I labored that wee baby into the world admist pain and screams, I watched him. His calmness this time was a comfort. I knew he understood and trusted my body. He treated the day as a fun getaway from our daily lives. he would come in and out of the room, take some photos, chat a bit and then go back to the big boys in the other room.


I realized tonight that Matthew had never bathed NOAH! I almost cried when I realized it. I asked him to soap him up for me and he said, "OH, I have never done this." I didn't realize he had allowed me to play with my baby doll so much. I felt so bad. He usually takes him after I bath him and he dresses him. He knew I loved bathing babies so he didn't even ask in the whole six months time.


Matthew is the type of man who works hard, comes home and pushes through his fatigue to love on his boys, even when he is painfully tired. He spends every free moment with us. My boys are so blessed to have such a present father. Everything he makes is ours. Everything he does is for us.


We will spend this Valentine's our 13th wedding anniversary with our boys today. It is only fitting. We are all his loves. We know without a doubt that we are his most prized. Where a man puts his time and money is where is heart is.


I could go into the whole past story of how we met, how we married, and all that. But I want to think of NOW. I love those stories. I love the years we have spent together. I am just in love with this new found peaceful love he gives me. I feel we are cleaving together more and more as the years pass on. It is Matthew I want when I am tired, hungry, or hurt. I am so happy it was him that God planned for me.


Matthew, there is no one else in this whole world like you. I sometimes feel I am so blessed it cannot last. Remember when we were dating and I asked you if you were an Angel from heaven sent to me? I never knew there were men like you. To tell you the truth, I have never met your match, dear man. I enjoy what some would deem a boring life. I love our home, our children, our love. I will never leave you or forsake you. For me it is my Lord first, then you, and then my children. Your the second person in my list of loves. Without you, none of them would be possible.


I know I account my journey to my salvation with Ninny Jackson, I also, owe some of that to you. You helped me to find my grown up love for Christ. I tear up to think of how blessed I am to have a husband who loves Jesus. My prayer is for us as a family to work on our love for him together even more this year.


You make me feel safe and peaceful, Mattmos. You have made my life happy. You make the other 95% of the men in the world look so pitiful. Your in a class of amazing men.


Thankyou for saying yes to this question I posed to you long ago, "Can I keep you?"

Day 7 ~ My Cousin Sandi

My earliest memory of a best friend is my cousin Sandi. She is the daughter of my Ninny Jackson's first son, Billy. She was my first playmate. I remember going to the fair together and riding those metallic shiny motorcycles there. She and I played in my Ninny Jackson's "blue room" for hours on end. Ninny had an old wicker picnic basket in there full of baby dolly clothes. We would dress up those dolls for hours.


Sandi and I both had this fear of this one doll...the one that was a puppet and his mouth moved. *shiver* It was horrible. Still to this day I hate to go to the blue room on my own without Ninny Jackson.


We would stay up late scaring one another with our worst fears concerning certain dolls that resided in my grandmother's house. Sandi will even tell you about the Barbie doll dream she once had. If I remember right they were floating in the air and blocking the door way. I was so little when she had this dream and told it to me. Couldn't sleep at Ninny's for anything in the world. I would stay under the blankets, HOT AS COULD BE and unable to breathe, but I was safe from those dolls. HA HA


Sandi was the crazy one out of us both. I was always more concerned with what others thought or what my mama would do. Hey, my mama would get me! I really remember that free spirit of Sandi's. The boys loved her and she had a way of holding them captive. I was so jealous of this as a young woman. She was so beautiful to me and I felt so blah around her. But, she was so quick to always tell me how pretty I was and she would fix my hair and makeup. I loved that.


Sandi was the silliest girl. One time she had this blue towel that she folded and attached with a pin she found. She fastened it as a mini skirt and went out to show my grandmother. I think she must have thought it looked good from her angle. I just agreed. I always agreed with her. She was my big cousin! ;) Ninny told her to go ahead and wear that. Oh, it was funny.


Sandi was the darling of my Ninny Jackson and PawPaw Jackson. They had her all the time and Sandi was the daughter my Ninny never had. I used to be jealous of this. I know Sandi needed Ninny in that way more than I did. I am so glad she had my Ninny as well.


My cousin is a loud laugher, full of jokes, and ready for a new adventure. Life was never dull during those lazy summer days spent at Ninny's house together. You never realize what something is until it is over. We were so close and never saw the end coming.


We helped in the kitchen, sewed doll clothes, fed chickens, helped with house chores, worked in the garden, ran down Hogan road with bikes, splashed in the deep part of the road when it would flood with water, fished out crawfish from those same floods, sang songs from New Kids on the Block, giggled over boys, and passed the days in friendship and laughter.


I told her my most kept secrets. I adored her because she was bigger. I can picture those two little girls in my mind. I know we had to be so cute with our long knobby kneed legs in shorts, long brown hair we grew in "hair races", and tank tops. Just walking around that yard. Using azalea leaves for money in our pretend stores. Swinging on the swing in the front with cans of coke.


Instead of hair races we seem to be racing with children now. We were just even, dangit all! She is pg with number four now.


I love you sweet cousin. I know we are different in so many ways...but we have that childhood in common. I am so glad you were one of my first loves. Sharing a girlhood together was marvelous. I so enjoyed it. I would cry when you went back to Miami at the end of the summer. My whole heart would break and the world would become gloomy until the sun started to shine and school was out once more. The summers seemed so long at the start...but how quickly those days were ate up with our play. I love you.

Day 6 ~ PawPaw Jackson

My grandfather lived in a very different time. The things that make me love him are directly from that time. He grew up in an entirely different way than I. It is what makes him neat.


Every year for as long as I can remember he plants a huge garden. I have never seen anyone else do this in my life. It has grown smaller I think through the years. He has raised honeybees, chickens, pigs, and I am sure other things. until recently he has always had a little dog as his companion. He will teach that dog to farm. I do not kid...truth...the dog learns to do many things.


He told me once when he was little that he made a little cart and attached it to his doggie to pull. I so wish I could see that. He tied strings to june bugs and watched them buzz around in circles. He even took paper and made a little movie picture that would spin and make movement. He was one of those last children in the "woods". This means he was free to be a boy. Pawpaw climbed, ran, chased, and grabbed life by the tail.


When he was in the service he likes to tell me how unglorious it was. Your not free to do as you want. His free spirit didn't care for that life. He recalls being told when to sleep, wake, eat, you get the point. He told me he did it because he wanted to marry my Ninny.


Once while in the service he stopped in to a little pulled pork sandwich shop. They served little tiny sandwiches. He said he was eating away and bit into one of the last ones and his teeth slid. He tried to bite again...same thing! He pulled open the bun to find a pig eye! Imagine me as a girl rolling on the floor squealing over that story. HA HA


My grandfather only had occasion to whip me once. I never thought it would happen. Believe me, it never happened again.


He likes to pull his sleeves up and flex his muscles for us all to see. What a peacock he can be. Hee hee He also love for us kids to sit with him and pat his head and hug on him. I had a very loving grandfather when I was growing up. I still love to snuggle him. I loved the way he smelled on Sundays.


Once when I was a little girl I went to church with him. He took me to the altar and gave his testimony about me. I remember him tearing up as he told the story of my birth and how I was the 4 to 5 year old girl beside him. He praised God infront of the whole church that morning. I remembering feeling super proud that I had pulled it off and lived. No humility, people, Ha ha'


He built a playhouse for my cousin Sandi and I. We went in it, saw a green frog or lizard, and we refused to play in it. Poor PawPaw. :(


Once my cousin Craig and I pulled all the bark off of one of his trees. He was so upset over that tree. It was then I learned that bark is the trees clothes. Oops.


My favorite memories must be him with my children. He loves to take the boys on his tractor. He eats pineapple sandwiches with them in a little hut he made up for them. The boys don't seem to be afraid of green reptiles. ;)


I love you Pawpaw. I love the way you plant and grow your food. I love that you still plan to do one each year even if it is hard on you. I love the way you love my boys. You have lived a very neat life and I thankyou for our long talks about the bible and the long theological directions they take. One day we will see together the things we have spoken on. Please, always be my Valentine. :)

Day 5 ~ My Ninny Jackson

My Ninny Jackson is my person. Everyone who meets her realizes that she is special. She has a light in her and your spirit is drawn to her spirit. How I pray to be like that. She has many who try to claim her. I am blessed to have her. Thanks be to God that she is mine.


When I was a little girl I loved her, but she didn't take any of my crap. She was the first to discipline me out of anyone in the room. For a long time I didn't like that part of our relationship. I wanted to get away with what I wanted to do. Now that is the part of her that means so much.


There is a story about my parents taking her to eat at a chinese place when I was a toddler. She said I cried to get down from the high chair and once I was free I continued to push the chair through the place. She was so embarrassed and said she would never go out to eat with me again! I really was a rotten child. I was a walking miracle and boy did I use it to my advantage. Rotten, people, rotten!


Ninny Jackson is the mother of my father. She raised 3 boys of her own and she also has a stepson, which makes 4. When I was pregnant with Noah and praying and longing for a girl I would say, "I will be like my Ninny and have 3 boys." My husband would say, "No, you will have a girl this time." I knew my girl would come out with a boy part. HA HA And so he did. So, my Ninny and I are baby twins. :) Isn't that cute?


I remember my Ninny always being home. She made us gravy and biscuits that were so yummy we wanted them for every meal. It took me almost 33 years to perfect them in my own kitchen. My boys now ask for them once a day. :)


Ninny made her boys biscuits from scratch every morning. That is amazing to me. She was truly from a different time and her boys were so blessed. I think she should live with me and make them for me every morning.


She never measures anything. That is why it took me so long. :)










I spent long summer days at her house exploring her yard, running from chickens, afraid the bees from the bee hives would sting me, strolling through a huge garden full of good things to eat, and learning the value of work. I would whine through much of that work...but I did it. We helped to shuck and cream the corn. Cleaning the house was something I learned there very well. She even allowed us to cook with her.


Being at her house was like living in the past a bit. A time when everyone was expected to chip in and help. I learned the organics of living there. I learned that simple was better.


I remember there was a slop bucket for the chickens and in it was collected the days scraps. When I had to take it out I would glance to see what was in it. Once there was chicken. My cousin Sandi and I were so grossed out to see chicken! We couldn't feed chicken to chickens! HA HA HA HA! It was just wrong, you guys!


Once she put me to the table with fabric scraps and helped me to sew up some skirts for my barbie dolls. I was so proud when we were done. I couldn't believe we had made that together.


I always thought Ninny the most capable woman in the world. She could sew, decorate cakes, and cook yummy food to feed the entire family when they were there. She was always finding ways to make things herself. She was very good at making what she had work. I loved the things she made.


My grandmother had a hard upbringing, but her mother was loving and hard working. My Ninny Jackson learned how to listen and her heart was taught to love by her mother. She tended the house and children while her mother did what she could to raise them. I am thankful God placed her where she was as a baby, thankful that he brought her up and out of it, and that this all made her who she was. I pray we as a family have given her joy. She deserves it. I pray she sees her loved ones saved and ready for Jesus. This is her only desire. Again, she lives for others, for us.


As I have turned from a girl to a woman my love for her has increased. I love her more each year. I listen to her words. I call her when I need a friend. I hold close her advice and her friendship. I love her so much.


She was always telling me how smart I was. I always felt so good and needed with her. She gave me a sense of belonging not only to my present family, but to the family that had passed on. She was good about helping me to connect to the past. She will still sit for hours and tell and retell stories for me.


One of the stories I love is about when she was home watching her siblings while her mother was working. There was one banana left and her sister Shelby wanted it. She took the banana and ran saying, "If you catch me, you can have it!" She kept running and stayed just out of reach of my great aunt Shelby. She polished off that banana dancing and darting around the yard. I can so see it.


She fell in love with my PawPaw when she was only 15. He was in the navy and they ran off to be married in secret. She says her mother just cried and cried. Ninny says that when she met my grandfather that she had never had a hamburger and milkshake because they had been so poor. He took her out for a milkshake and a cheeseburger and that is how he won her heart. She still smiles and remembers that as the best cheeseburger. :) Can you imagine that being such a treat? Today that is something we eat when we don't have money or we are in a hurry. I picture that sweet girl eating it and relishing each bite.


Ninny has always loved working in the yard. She never wants flowers cut and in the house. She says they are better blooming and alive out of doors. I agree. :)


Once she and I spray painted some wicker furniture she found at a rummage sale. She has always loved yard sales. Give that lady a bag of quarters and she will furnish your whole house. A little spray paint, a little cleaning, and she has the perfect spot in mind for her new to her treasure. I have learned from her and every chance we get I take my boys to those sales. They also love to go treasure seeking.


Ninny loves birds and she has had a little birdie in a cage throughout the years. She loves to hear them sing. She will sit in her outside patio room that pawpaw made for her. He screened it all in and she has her television for Perry Mason and a water fountain complete with koi fish. She sits out there and does her laundry watching t.v., just close to the outside. I love sitting out there with her. In the winter the fire is going. When we are home she allows the boys to put things in the fireplace. They all love to sit in front of it and play with the fire.


You will find a basket of pecans from their trees outside and a nutcracker on top of them. Sitting next to her, eating pecans, the fire making my face hot, the crackle of the wood filling my ears...it is just heaven. I want to be there now.


Once when she was in the hospital and I was a little girl about the age of eight I went to visit her. She let me drink her broth they brought her. I loved soup, still do, and I sat on the edge of her hospital bed and drank it up.


Oh, I must tell you all about the time I helped her clean out the outside fish pond. We cleaned it out by digging the leaf clutter out. Well, on one of those digs she or I came up with a baby moccasin snake! It was thrashing and moving, I was screaming and floundering, she was stabbing at it with the head of the shovel. We must have looked comical. Needless to say I wasn't helping her dig that mess out anymore. HA HA.


I could go on and on about her and our time together. The most important thing about her is that she was the way Heavenly Father really got to the soul of me. She preached the Gospel to me at every turn. She kept those truths alive for me. Watching her I learned what it was to praise God, to need him.


One time she was listening to praise music and talking about how we would all rise up to meet the Lord in the air one day if we were in a covenant with the Lord. She was swaying and dancing and I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in the room. I asked her if I could just grab hold of her house coat and go up with her to the clouds. I started to cry. She said no, I had to make things right with the Lord on my own. I was very scared at that prospect, but through the years she showed me the way. That is her legacy to me, eternal life. It doesn't get better than that.


I love you Ninny for all the love you gave me, both yours and the Lords. I cherish our hour long phone calls. I miss you when my weeks home are over. We have such fun spending so much time together. I am so glad my children know you. I promise to pass what you have taught me to my children and your great grand children. Thankyou, for giving me all of yourself. Thankyou, for praying for me. I thank God for you because through you and your obeying God, I will always have a special gift.


I adore you.

Day 4 ~ My Aunt Elizabeth

I do believe the next person I absolutely and totally adored was my Aunt Liz. Aunt Liz is the sister of my mother. She was also still in highschool when I was born. Now as an adult I wonder what it was like to have your older sister have a baby while your both in highschool. Was she excited about my arrival? Did she think I was cute and sweet when I arrived? Was she scared for my life and for her sisters heart when I came so early and needed so much? What was that time like for her?


From the earliest memory of my Aunt Liz I remember lots of giggles. I remember the perfect hugs she would give me. She would save all of the treats in the cereal boxes and the fast food toys she would get in her happy meal. Then her very own baby came along and she gave them to her. I was so jealous over this. I WAS THE BABY! I liked my cousin Lacii well enough, but I also felt sad that she took alot of my love away.


Before Lacii I was the only baby. And like everyone else my Aunt catered to me. It was glorious! I always wanted to be in her arms, in her lap, by her side, in her conversations, the topic of her conversations, etc. I am sure you get the point. I wanted to be my Aunt Liz. Ha ha


One time she bought me this pink one piece swimsuit with little white seagulls all over it. She took me to Shipwreck Island for the day. This place was amazing to me as a little girl. I never wanted to leave. Aunt Liz either had the stamina to run after me or she faked it really well. I waded on my belly in the kids section pool for hours and when we were going home I realized I had rubbed the belly of my swimsuit so much that it had little runs and worn places on it. I was so upset! My Aunt Liz bought that for me! It was the prettiest thing in the whole world. :( It was horrible.


I remember so much from that day. It was amazing. I will remember it forever. A week with my favorite Aunt, okay my only Aunt was the best time ever.


Aunt Liz has this HUGE tub that I loved. I had never seen a tub so big. It was an indoor swimming pool. She would fill it with bubbles for me and because I squealed and begged for the water to reach the tip top of the tub she would fill it up. I would spend hours in that tub, swimming, bathing, playing with tub toys.


One time while with her for one of these magical weeks I didn't feel so well. She offered me coffee and toast to calm my tummy. In an effort to drag more sympathy from her I wailed about how sick I was and how I couldn't possibly drink coffee. Folks, I wanted that coffe, I wanted it bad. But you must understand that more hugs and sweet looks from Aunt Liz was better than coffee. Well, until about an hour or so later when I told her I was up to it and she told me, "Nope, your better now!"


As I aged she was the one I wanted to shop with. She was hip, she was stylish, and she let me pick out what I wanted. Every girls dream! I would wear the outfit she allowed me to purchase until the threads were bare. I LOVED THOSE OUTFITS!


One Christmas she gave me a jean jacket that was cut short and it had MY NAME "Chelita" embroidered on the back of it. The letters were in HOT PINK! EEEEPPPPPP! I also got a hot pink alarm clock from her. I used this clock into my marriage! Only the best of aunts will give you hot pink anything. Seriously.


She never tried to duck my coming of age questions and she answered them all truthfully. Once when I was so angry with my mother she reminded me that I was cared for, fed, had nice things, etc. I really listened to what she was saying. It meant something when she spoke.


I would sit and watch her put on make-up. Later in the day I would try to make my own face up just like hers. I had watched...but it just didn't look the same. When she would find I had used her make-up she never scolded. She would smile and say it looked good.


My favorite place to eat when I was little was Captain D's. I thought this was a top-notch expensive place, ya'll! How they choked it down time after time for me, I don't know.


I live far away from her now and I hardly ever see her. I hold close to my heart my Aunt Liz. She was fun and she was my second mommy. She made me feel happy in our time together. I loved being her little girl and being spoiled. I miss those moments with her. I am thankful my mother allowed me to visit her for the long stretches I did. I was very lucky to have an aunt like her when I was growing up.


Thankyou, Aunt Liz, for splashy fun at the good old Shipwreck, shopping til we dropped, and eating greasy food that had to make you sick. You did it all for me. You always went over board to give me a good week each summer. I am craving one of your hugs now. I may be grown...but I still love you so very much. I think out of all the cousins I was the one you really spent that time with. We have a bond that will never be broken. Now how do we go back in time and get rid of that pesky Lacii. HEE HEE...just kidding. But you must admit, those were some good times, Aunt Liz.

I know we had a rough time there as I grew up, was married, and I struggled with things with my grandmother. I hope you are proud of the life I have. I pray you still remember those days of my girlhood the way I do...with sweetness and an ache to go back for just one day. I love you, Aunt Lizard!

This is Aunt liz with me. This was taken in my grandmother's yard.





I remember her kisses when I was a baby girl. I remember alot from her wedding day which is surprising to me. I stole a kiss before the groom could. ;) She was MINE. :)




This is a recent of my Aunt Liz with her first grandchild. :) Aren't they pretty?

Day 3 ~ My Ninny Austin

The next person I remember falling in love with was my Ninny Austin. Ninny Austin is my mother's mother. She carried and birthed 4 children in her lifetime. Her first child was LaRue, a sweet baby girl that didn't live very long. In fact she didn't make it to even see her mother. She went to sleep in Jesus and was buried before my Ninny Austin was even out of the hospital. I think about that alot. I remember the day she showed me photos of baby LaRue that someone took of her for my Ninny. A sweet little girl all dressed to be put to rest. I just couldn't believe my Ninny had ever been through something like that.


She was a huge baby person. She loved to hold them, tickle them, and give them anything they so much as looked at while they visited her home. If you were a child and you looked at a bar of gold on her counter while there...it was yours. My sister remembered that about her as we all laid her to rest two years ago. She was giving, if she was anything.


I thought my Ninny Austin was the best lady in the whole world. If I could have had her live with us I would have done it. Ha Ha One time she came to stay when my sister was born. She helped my mother clean and cook. I loved that time. Best week of my life. Ninny Austin was in our house. I never wanted her to leave.


Ninny Austin loved to laugh, but boy she also loved to scold. She would be the first person to tell you that you were wrong and the first to love on you even when you were. If you were the one in her path when she was on her mission of fixing you...you were in for it.


My mother was her second child. She helped my mother and father raise me. I was always loved on by her and given things she thought I needed like socks, shoes, and shoe powder. You had to know her. ;) I also had my stash of pj's because of her.


She would make lemon ice box pies and put them in the fridge. She did this because she knew I would get a spoon and stand in the door of the fridge and eat it a spoonful at a time. I loved that.


I remember washing her dishes in all cold water. My Aunt Liz noticed this and said something. My Ninny Austin told her to leave me alone that I was doing a great job cold water and all. I don't know if she ever rewashed them. I have a feeling she didn't. My help was good enough. She always made you feel good enough when you made an attempt to help her.

One of my favorite stories of her childhood was of the time she went into the chicken yard as a very little girl and wrung the neck of almost all the chickens. Her mother would say, "Lay an egg or I'll wring your neck", before she would kill the chicken they would have for supper. So, one day she decided to play little mother and she wrung those poor chickens. She told me that her sister Edith told her to hide because she didn't want their father to get to her. She said that Edith thought her so little and she didn't want her in trouble. If you had ever meet my great aunt Edith you would see how plausible this was.


I gather she was a very mischievous child because she was always telling of how her sister Edith would try to save her from her misdeeds. She also told me one day that she had become very ill as a little girl with about three different things at one time and they had thought she wouldn't make it. Someone that determined always makes it. HA HA


Ninny Austin would take me to the country with her for a day trip. This was a trip where we would visit her family. I only remember her father once during my young life. The memory of eating at his table stays with me. It wasn't like my table at home. I remember it being more rustic. He served me some sort of beef stew. I remember Ninny talking to him, but I don't remember him saying much. They were comfortable with each other and so I just ate my soup and waited to leave. I recall my feet dangling from the bench at the table. :)


My favorite part of visiting the country was going to Edith's house. She had lots of land and on that land was her daughter Donna. Donna was alot of fun for me.


After our day in the country Ninny would bring me home. I always felt special that I was the one who went with her on those adventures. She would also call up my mother and tell her to ready me for a trip to my Aunt Liz's house in Panama City. As we drove the coast line she would point out the window at the big buildings and ask me, "What are those, Chelita?" I would look, knowing what they were before I looked, and declare, "Oh, those are condimeeeeeniums!" If you don't speak little Chelita girl language that would be translated into, condominiums. I always loved that part. I felt like such a good and smart girl to pull off that monstrous word. ;)


My grandmother also loved for me to sing to her. I would call her up and sing to her over the phone if I missed her. She made me feel like a super star. Who needs a world to adore you when just one grandmother thinks your the best?


As she and I both aged we grew apart for various reasons. I ached for her through the years. Talked to her now and again. Remembered the woman that was such a fixture of my childhood.


One day my mother called me and told me to hurry home as quickly as I could. I never had the money or my car wasn't working. Something always came up. I guess I thought I had forever. I told my mother to tell her to give me til January. The first of January came and I didn't have the money to go. It just never worked out. I did speak to her on the phone and she and I had a healing moment I believe. If only she could have lived a while longer after that call. But I now know she was telling me goodbye and she wanted our last moments together to be beautiful.


My mother called me back that January...very soon after that call...to say my Ninny had passed on to Jesus. I had waited to long. I had thought my Ninny would always make it back home. I had missed the chance to see her hold my boys one last time or to snuggle her close...to smell her.


I can never regain that back. That last time to touch her to laugh with her in person. To have that forgiveness talk we had on the phone sitting face to face. I beseech you to call the person this blog post is reminding you of. If you feel a pull on your heart to call or drive over to someone and to just be with them even if it is hard, please do so. Don't think you have the time to do it.


My Ninny wanted to see me. I will always believe she waited on me. She gave me until January. I should have went that month. I should have packed my car, chanced the drive, and eaten ramen for a few weeks.


I remember not having the money to go home. But I went home...even if too late. To stand by my mother and to help her put her to rest. It wasn't ideal. But I made her important enough for the last time I could. I went home for her and only her. To help her daughter to say goodbye. It was the least I could do.


The funeral was beautiful. But a sadness that my boys didn't really know GiGi will never leave me.


I will not share what she and I said that last phone call...it is just too precious for me to give it wings and allow you all to share in it. Just know it was good. It is the only thing that kept me sane after she left. Thank God for that moment.


Since she is gone I need to talk to Jesus for a moment...


Jesus, I need you to go and find my Ninny Austin, pull her close to you and tell her I am sending this to her. Tell her she is my Valentine. Tell her I thank her for adventures to the country and Panama City. I enjoyed our meals of fried chicken and mashed potoatoes as we did so. Tell her I crave a spoon in my hand and a pie in the fridge. Tell her I never will forget the magic of our days together. Tell her...I will see her soon. Tell her about my sweet baby Noah. Tell her, I love her, and hug her the way I would have. Tell her I may never sing in the Grand Ole Opry the way she wanted me to, and I never did learn the guitar, but I am enjoying the life where God planted me. Tell her I miss day dreaming with her so very much.

Day Two ~ My Daddy

My second love would have to be my Father. From as long as I can remember I craved his attention and I wanted him to notice me. I am guessing all little girls are like this. I don't think he ever really wanted children as a choice, but I know he loved us very much. He was always willing to hold me and I loved to sit in his lap as a girl.


My favorite thing was when he called me his princess. If he even dared to call my sister that I would scream, "NO, I am your princess, she can be you angel!" Oh my, yes, I was spirited. I was also an only child until the age of eight. It isn't a good idea to wait that long until your second, it slightly ruins the older child. HA HA


My daddy loves sports and racing. He spent most of his time home unwinding in front of the t.v. If I was patient the game or race would be off and he would be mine. I loved the times he would play with the race track with me. I loved making the cars spin around and around and he was never angry when I went to fast and made the car come off of the tracks. I had the hardest time keeping that car on that track.


For Christmas one year he refurbished this go-cart for me. It had a car shell. He painted it white and pink. I will try to post a photo of it below. I loved that car. I will always remember the days of riding up and down Kingsfield road in that car with my daddy. He even bought me little pink riding gloves and a helmet. The back of the car said "tickled pink". I felt so adored.



My father was always fast to listen and I never felt judged. I loved when I had his ear and I could talk to just him.


I know he wanted a son, but he did the best he could with us girls. He may have been in a house of women, but I like to think in some ways he felt blessed it turned out that way.


One birthday I had a surprise party. My father took me on a jungle expedition while my mother set up my party. I remember getting tired and my feet hurt after a while. I was thirsty and hot. My birthday is in July and we lived in Florida. He whisked me up on his shoulders and pretended he was seeing red-butt baboons in the trees and other creatures in order to make me laugh. This passed the time and we finally made it back to the car. He then took me to a place called "Popcorn Prescription". It was the only time I ever went and I have craved it at different times in my life. I picked out some flavors. I remember this cinnamon one.


I was so content that day. As we pulled into the drive and my party unfolded I quickly forgot what that day meant. But in the years after I have remembered. I grow fonder of it every time I think on it. I may have romanticized that day, but who cares? We women often do that.


I love my father. I love his quick wit and the silly ways he acts. I love the precious moments he was all mine and I had his ear. I love to hear him laugh. I still love to watch him eat. That started as a girl, I would sit and watch him eat. He eats pretty. Most people are gross to watch when they eat. I like the way he eats. Hee hee...


He always tells me I am his girl. He has always found a way to tell me sorry if he hurt my heart. He always told me I was special and that no man would be good enough for me. He always told me to wait for a man like Matthew.


I love you, Daddy, because you learned to be the best father you knew to be. You were so young and I was so not in your plans. I know my birth ended your childhood and you were forced to grow-up. I love you for it. I love you for those moments you were all mine. Thankyou for all the hugs and times you listened to me when I felt hopeless in the world. I thankyou for always making me feel superior in a way that made me expect the best out of my future husband. I thankyou for being my friend above all.


Every little girl falls in love with her father...the first man in her life...for old times sake won't you be mine? :) My little girl heart may appear far away, but it is there and it still loves that daddy who took her for a walk in that magical forrest one hot July day and showed her where the red-butt baboons lived. Who knew they lived in the trees in florida behind the University mall. ;) Atleast you knew how to find them. I still swear I saw a glimpse of one that day.


I love you with all of my heart.

Day One ~ My Mother

So, it is Feb. and I was married this month 13 years ago. I have decided to *try* and remember to blog about one of my loves each day this month. I hope you will read along with me.


My mother is my first love. I remember just loving her so much as a child. When she was here to help me wait for Noah Bleu to be born we were talking about how I didn't hate her or feel badly towards her until around middle school. My friends hated their mother so it was only natural I would soon follow. Add in that they were allowed to do things I wasn't and soon our relationship was a war zone. I told her I so wish she would have homeschooled me. I can never regain those lost years when our relationship was tense and I thought she was mean because she wouldn't let me do what everyone else was doing. It makes me sad. If I could I would go back and stay home and just love on my mama all day.


When I was a very little girl she didn't work. I remember going places with her and how fun it was. I so enjoyed her time. When I went to school she was a room mother and she made cakes for my class and was always there. In elementary I was allowed to adore my mother. I thought she was amazing. Cause she was.


When she would leave me at my grandmother's house I would cry and cry for her. I wanted her back and I wanted her back right then. I remember my Ninny Jackson always trying to help me be ok while she was away. She would hold me in her lap and scream, "Mommy, where are you mommy! You must come and get your baby. MOMMY!" She was so silly and this would help me forget for a moment and giggle.


When I told my mother this during her last visit she and I just cried. She said, "Why didn't you tell me, I would have never left you again!" Ha ha. I told her I didn't know to tell her. Once she was back I was happy. No need to go over the details of my wailing away for an hour or so for my lost love. HA HA


My mother is a person who loves deeply, fights for those she loves, and will easily forgive you. I have never seen her hold a grudge. She can be angry and upset with someone of course, but it is always short lived.


My mother was pregnant with me in highschool. She had me when she was six months pregnant and she never left my side. She would go to the hospital chapel and pray for me to live....to just live. The doctors told her I would never make it. She just prayed. She said she refused to believe them, to let me go.


I love the story of how our love affair began. She a young mother, six months pregnant, up to use the bathroom in the morning. Her membranes rupture. They rush to the closest hospital and are turned away because they do not have an NICU to save me once I am out. The doctor jumps in the car and sits with my mother trying to hold me in! As we are pulling up to the second hospital I am crowning.


Can you imagine the fear? I think about her looking at me tiny with so much stacked against me. My own babies were so fat and HUGE, so ready for the world were they. I was this little tiny thing that really had no chance in the world. My mother prayed. She believed.


I know her love and HER prayers are what spared my life. Her heart cry to God is what made him intervene. Think about that. A mother's love is so much. No words can describe that love. It isn't a fickle romance or a passing moment in the heart. It is an all consuming and powerful love. it is to ME the only love that can even come close to the heart that God has for us. We are his children. And even MEN can't love that way. A mother is special. She is a gift. No one will ever love you with a fire so deep and so pure. She will give you her own blood til the last drop if it would preserve you.


Even mommy animals will push that baby out of the way and gladly take what is coming on herself. That is in essence a love like Jesus. Only his love is bigger. No one else comes close. No one is going to die for you and need you here in this world more than your mother and your God.


So that is why she is my first Valentine of the month.


I would love to pack up, drive there, and cuddle in her arms on this stormy day. To hear her laugh. To know that I am adored. To be delighted in.


I may need to get pregnant in order to get her here for a month again. It would be worth it! A new baby of my own and my mommy. :)


I thank God for the first person, my mother, that loved me. Through her I learned what love was before I even knew of my God. I delighted in her kisses and hugged her close when I was scared. I always wanted more of her love. Needed it. How stingy we children are...taking...taking...taking... Until one bright day...we give.


Today I give, Mommy, Will you be my Valentine this year and for always and forever?

~*~*~I'm a Ready for LOVE~*~*~

My husband is cracking up at me right now...but as I wrote this title I thought of this song.





Blame it on my young high school aged hippy parents who were raising me at the time! HA HA! But I loooooove it!


Anywho! I made the sweetest little heart garland! Thanks to THIS BLOG!








I made 11 hearts on my garland, but 9 would have been MORE than fine!
I think it is a great start to my decorating for my wedding anniversary on Valentine's Day. :)

This little sweetie of a project can be made in one evening. Although my pregnant fingers tried to lock up on me way too many times. Blah!

If you make them let me know!

When Matthew came home I ran to show him. I was so excited!

Valentine's Day

The children made Valentine's the night before the sweetest day.

Before bed Eli was using the massager in his bed and Piper wanted to know what the heck was up! She was very concerned with the noise.

That morning they awoke to some little sweets and gifts. Matthew made them both cards that had a photo of them and the puppy that belonged to them. :) I made little truffles and chocolate coins and put them in little boxes I decorated with monkeys. :)

They made more Valentine's that morning.

See Remy's little hair flip? Now go and compare him to a Curious George photo and let me know what you think. :)

Elijah made this big card.

Remy made a butterfly for Taylor. :)

We received some Valentine's from Taylor in the mail. :) Sweet girl. :) We love you!

The boys wanted to go and give her candy and cards that they had made. So we went to Miss Taylor's house for a quick visit. :)

She showed me the "Love Monster" she made to hold her Valentine's from her classmates. It was so cute!!! She did great!

We even witnessed signs of spring at Miss Taylor's house. :)

After dinner out we came home. I was not feeling well at all! It was the worst Valentine's ever! And that is so bad considering that it isn't just V day for me, it is my 11th anniversary! But we came home and I snuggled with my bunny girl! :) She is so sweet and loves lovin'!

Look at what a lovely girl she is. I love it when she stands on her hind legs. :)

Of course the little weenies couldn't leave all that snuggling to Beatrix the bunny. :)

To be loved by a doggie is one of the sweetest gifts on earth. :) And they are such good girls and they give us such love that we don't deserve! :)

We read lots of books on Valentine's Day. This first one was very cute.

I loved this next one, it was the history of Valentine's Day. It was very neat to see how it progressed and how some of the things we do today came from lovers long ago. :)

I checked out two craft books and the second one in the photo is where Remy got the idea for the butterfly he made for Taylor.

Remy LOVED this little book. But who can stay away from little Biscuit?

I leave you with a photo I captured of my tulips. I love how red and vibrant it is...

I hope you all had a very sweet day!

Making a Brick, and Bathing a Puppy.

We have been reading about India and we decided to make our own brick close to the way they would have. We made it...but then the puppies decided to destroy it on day 3. We will just have to make a new one. *sigh*

Let me tell you, those puppies had a grand time destroying our little mud brick. They were so happy and entertained. They believe that we made it just for them!

Remember our broccoli from last years garden? Well, it thrived all winter long and now at the dawn of spring look at what we have...

Grammy sent the boys a valentine. She is too cute and you can tell by her little gifts that she puts great thought into them. I love how she pasted the card on a big heart and then attached 2 little chocolate hearts for each boy. :) They loved it Grammy!

Elijah gave his little speckled dog a bath one night. He is getting so big!