Creating Outside

Have you ever been in a three year rut? I have. Oh man, have I.
I am trying to revamp some things and pull myself out of this "place". So much change for me in the last three to four years and being in places I never saw myself in. I used to live so in the moment...just so happy where I was. I feel behind, I feel lost, I feel wasteful, and I feel upset with myself for how long I have allowed myself to be in this "place". I often wonder if I will wake-up ten years from now and wish I had been easier on myself in these moments.
On this day I stopped. I just stopped. I closed the books, I grabbed some supplies, and I made a nest outside for us to sit in while we played. I did this all the time in the past. I need to find that bliss for homeschooling, for homemaking, and I need to be okay with letting go of my birth work for a few more seasons.
...and then it happened...this perfect few hours...
I saw my sweet inventive baby turning preschooler in action. Light playing through the leaves of our apple tree lighting us up and making us feel perfect. The same apple tree we have lazed under so many times.


I saw my oldest and how perfect he needs to be once again. I saw how hard he really tries to succeed at what is at hand. I watched his newly etched big boy face for a long time. I noticed how his art wasn't finished because he needed it to be so good. He needed to be happy with it. How often I rush him or I don't see him now.


My baby delighted in his play. He was free.


I realized I have a sweet 10 year old who is still quite little right now. I treat him so much older than I should.


Our little pound puppy watched us in our efforts.


Just when I don't think it can get any better my sweet Noey brings a plate of grass and leaves to me from the yard. He used his sandwich plate. When I asked him what it was he told me it was a salad for the birds. He was trying to place it by the same tree we had helped the baby fledgling from just days before. I saw his heart. Outside I didn't see the messes he makes or anything negative. I saw a little person who really believed he could nourish the birds. He is a caretaker, even at two.



I was touched by the fact that Remy relished my help at every turn on his little art project. I forget how he still needs me. He acts so capable, but he loved sharing that time with me, of all people, me. His project made him think of my hometown and he told me he couldn't wait to eat seafood with my dad. I love how that is something he does with my dad.


I haven't been able to watch him in gymnastics much because Noey's baby gym overlaps. He wanted me to watch him do gym in the branches of our tree.


He even gave me a flower.


This time next year this little toddler will be so different. I need to see him. I need to be present.




I so need to pull myself out of the must do's and the bad moods and find myself and my children again.

Who Knew Yard Work Could Be So Sweet?

The men and I decided to get out in the front yard and clean up a bit. We didn't finish it, but we have learned that with Noah we just need to get out there and do what we can. Sometimes he surprises us with how long he enjoys an activity. Other times he is done right away. You know how it is. The baby sets the pace of the activity.


While Elijah mowed for a little bit I watched my sweet Baby Bleu. :)





The Monkey hung and swung from Mrs. Appletree.





The front yard started to look so nice. :) I love my big boy helper. Elijah really has become a young man of late. He helps me do so much. Just last year I still thought him my baby. Now he can push the mower and do such grownup things. Remy still runs around collecting bugs. Elijah helps me. When did it happen? When did he become one who senses responsibility beyond play? *sniff sniff*





After Eli got to the point of the yard where he thought he may pass out I took over and we almost finished. I even pruned Mrs. Appletree. While that went on Remy was the babysitter. I gave Mrs. Appletree a cut and trim, Eli hung out in the tree holding ladybug larvae, and Remy introduced Noah to the joy of a dandelion puff.





How was I so blessed with such wonderful young men to spend my days with? My heart aches it feels so full.

Noah's First Spring Day Under the Apple Tree

If you were to do a search on my blog with the word "apple" you would see our sweet Mrs. Apple Tree of whom I speak. We love her. She gives us little apples to make jelly with each fall. She shelters us while we do spring school out of doors. She is one of the ones I will miss the most if we ever move from this house. This is back in 2009 and we had no clue we were ever going to add another person to that blanket. I had an idea that there would be an extra baby come spring 2011 because baby number three was on the way in spring 2010! I never once thought this scene would be my spring 2011. I never knew it would be baby Bleu! I have a feeling that this photo of my sweet boys on a blanket this year will be a treasure to me in the years to come. Life changes so swiftly. Just think how big this wee boy will be next spring! This big boy will be 13 the next time I post the first spring photo under the tree. This one will be nine... Spring under the tree with our baby has been the sweetest yet. Until next year we will enjoy our sweet Bumble Bleu and refuse to see the leaves telling us the time of fall is near and a new spring is on its way. That is the bliss of the moment.

Last Moments of Summer...

The boys had one of their favorite people over on one of those last summer days. The water was beginning to chill and they took one last jump into the pool. It was cold but boy did they have fun! :)


They even spent time in our little apple tree. I am not sure how many of those little apples they ate. Hee hee...








Crazy kids!


Thanks, Sherri, for giving us Patrick for the day. :) We love him!

Late Spring...A taste of the Summer to Come.

Swimming...

Eli is finally diving in this year! About time! Matt has the water so pretty and crystal clear, but it is so cold for me still. The water is 80 degrees.

Climbing Trees...

Picking Flowers for your mommy...

Even if you picked the neighbors flowers without asking, even when you know it is wrong, even though you have been told before, but you can't help it because it is so pretty and your mommy must have it! :)

School Under the Apple Tree

In the front yard we have a favorite tree. Every child who comes to visit, loves this tree. Our crab apple tree is very sweet to us and today she sheltered us during our studies. :)

I had to post this next photo. Last night I was learning something new in my crochet lessons. It is by no means perfect and I was about to throw it out when Remy begged to have it and named "him" Shapey. He is named such, because he can be molded into any shape you want. Hee hee... Anyway, Remy did school with him under the apple tree today. I tell ya, that child makes me so happy sometimes and he makes my greatest defeats some of my happiest moments. :) Love you sweet boy.

Remy will finish up a part of a lesson and then run around. He found bugs and hung out in that sweet tree of ours. :)

At one point he wandered off and returned with a "bullie" (the u is short), which is what he has called a PB&J since he was a wee bit of a guy. He even set toothpicks in each half to jazz it up a bit. :) Nothing gives me more joy than watching that itty bit chow down on a "bullie" and become an icky sticky mess!

I had a SWEET and SUPER moment today! The mailman dropped off my blockbuster movies and as he went away the UPS man (box man) brought me some of Eli's 4th grade books! I met that man at the truck! He laughed and said, "Abeka books"? I guess he is clobbered by all mamas. He said that he will be delivering alot of them this summer. :)

We opened them right up on the lawn and enjoyed looking at each piece. :)

Matthew went to that job interview at Target. He applied for a store management position but they called him in today for a department manager position. The guy was like your to qualified for this and you should get a call in 3 days for the store management interview. It gave us a good sigh of relief! Just to think that a job could be out there! And Mattmos LOVES Target! :) It is MY store!

I am going to have some cleaning jobs tomorrow before the big surgery and then I will not be allowed to twist or bend for a week for cleaning or gardening. Just walking, bathroom, and stuff like that. He said I could drive after the first week. He doesn't want me popping that hernia back out. And I don't want that either!

That's the news on us! :)