A Mom and a Family of Men!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

I am BACK!

Okay, I really meant to update sooner, but today was the first day I felt like ME! Surgery in your abdomen is not fun. Now I know why those women who VBAC want it so bad! I have been super depressed, and the pain increased before it ever got better. I can't imagine a section, a baby, and all of those HORMONES!

I was a mess before the surgery. They all said oh you have had two babies, this is nothing. So I am thinking okay, two babies born natural, one at home, I can do this! WRONG! This pain surpassed my worst ideas about pain. I felt as if someone had stabbed me in the gut with a knife! I felt so abused and broken! From the moment I woke up I was in horrible pain. The medicine never touched it. The only time I rested was when I slept.

I have a NEW respect for mamas who give birth surgically. Natural birth to me is NOTHING now, it is TOO easy to do it that way! Because it was my foundation for what pain was. That isn't pain, this past week has been pain. I have finally tasted real pain, and I hated it.

I cried, I lost it many times and Matthew would have to bring me back to my senses. He picked me up and helped me to the bathroom, he showered me, he fed me every meal, he was always there. I thought this man was great when I had babies, nope, he is greater when I am in the worst of places. I was really depressed days 2-5.

Last night I started to feel better. Today I was able to focus on things other than the pain. Now the main culprit is the way my surgeon strung me up on fishing line and he anchored it into my belly in another spot. It is really bothering me. Matthew said I scared him last night, he thought I was going to cut it out of me myself. Ha ha! Poor man thought he would have to hold me down.

My back hurts so bad because I can't lay on my sides because of the way he accordian laced my flesh onto the fishing line and anchored it. I can't think on that too long, I feel like a torture victim!

I am mad. I was told that I would feel hardly any pain, it would be a day or two for recovery "pain wise", and that this was nothing compared to the natural birth of my two children. LIARS! I plan on telling them this on the 12th. Can't wait for it actually.

So, if you have had a natural birth, or a birth without a section, know that those women who have had a section are some BRAVE and STRONG women! How they make it through is something I can't wrap my head around right now.

So, I am good, on the mend it seems. Thankful it is over, and afraid of a surgical birth to the very core of me! It was bad...just bad. :(

God has to make the 12th come FAST! I have to get this line out of me!!!! :(


Rhonda said...

Oh Chelita, I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. I have been so worried about you and could not wait to hear from you. I swear I was pacing the floor! LOL! Prayers are being sent your way hon. You have a wonderful husband, taking care of you like that. Please keep us informed ok. Sending you big hugs.

Sherry said...

Ugh--sounds awful! I'm so glad you're starting to feel a little better. Hang in there!

Mamaclsn said...

I'll be praying for you! I guess I missed it...what kind of surgery did you have?

Vicki said...

I understand the pain you were in!! I've had four c-sections and my reversal surgery, which was just as bad or worse. During my reversal he also did a uterine suspension so that added more pain. I was discouraged after that surgery because I didn't feel I was bouncing back quickly enough but he assured me it was normal. THEN, I had my appendix out in emergency surgery. So, I know what kind of pain you were in!! The first time your feet hit the floor takes your breath away, literally.

I am glad you are starting to feel better. The first time I could roll over and sleep on my side was heavenly.

Hang in there!

Michelle said...

I'm so sorry you are feeling so badly and I hope the next few days bring some better moments.

I will share from my experience from my own 2 surgeries and my charges 3 surgeries that doctors are idiots when it comes to communication regarding surgery recovery periods. They never tell the truth about what it will really be like. I suppose if they did they would lose many a patient.

Jessica said...

Oh I am SO sorry your surgery was so hard! I have always felt the same thing about c-sections, I just can't ever imagine the thought of having one- and I don't even have your experience you have now. I rate all of my pain to my natural childbirth too and it sounds like I am right that c-sections are worse. I pray that you heal FAST and can get back to enjoying the good weather with your boys. And its great to hear that your husband has taken such good care of you.

Mama Teaching 2 said...

I was able to sleep on my side last night! It was heavenly. It is super hard to get up in the morning when it feels so good to sleep again. I went out yesterday and was quickly tired out and ready to sit down. I can see an end to it though!

I am not happy about how my belly button looks now, it is so ugly, and I am having a hard time with that. I guess it will never be the same. *sigh*

Thanks for all the sympathy and kind words, everyone!

Britwife said...

I hope your appt. today went well...
I had my gallbladder out a few years ago - they told me it would be easy-peasy. Ha! It was horrendous - just like what you are describing.
I hope it is all better now! :)

Heather the Mama Duk said...

That sounds so awful! I am glad you are getting back to yourself, though. I hope you really did give them a piece of your mind on the 12th.