Most of the time Boy Bleu is perfectly happy coloring, cutting, pasting, painting, and working on little worksheets during school time. Sometimes he has a wee explosion in his body that sends him into all of our laps begging us for attention. Most times one of us is free for this. Sometimes the t.v. is our nanny for that spot of time. This day I thought myself clever when I told him to go and build and elephant with his blocks.
I went back into full teacher mode with the bigger boys and was happy for the reprieve. Thirty wonderful quiet moments later he pulled me by my hands into the living room.
I asked him to build and elephant and he did. This one silly plea for a few needed moments with the big boys at the table started a trend. He has since constructed many creatures for me. Once it was even a mommy eating alligator (Gag-ga-gator if you heard him say it).
How are they always capable of so much more than we think?
I looked forward to my third child for 7 years. 7 years I daydreamed, helped other mama's birth their babies, and finally I thought it would never happen. Happen it did at the tail-end of a very long unemployment for my husband. I was scared to death with the what-ifs.
New life blossomed within my very own body for the third time in my blessed life. The boy I had no knowledge of, other than a sweet baby I craved, grew and pushed my body to its very limits. I prayed through the pains, the sleepless nights, the heartburn, the everythings that pregnancy brings.
I woke one glorious day and knew my new sweet baby would be in my arms soon. I rushed towards Texas. I rushed towards the place I would nest and birth my baby. New life rushed. It rushed along with me like a bride running towards her deployed husband returning home. I had nothing on my mind or in my heart but the desire to be a mother, again. I wanted that baby. I wanted to know if it were a he or a she. I wanted to name this person. Kiss those baby lips puckered in a cry. Smell my baby the way only a new mother can. Nothing, not even the midwives could slow me down in my desperate pursuit. I was on a mission, on a journey, and I needed this little person NOW!
The pain a force to only give into, because without the payment the reward is not as sweet.
The comforting of other women who have journeyed along your path. Just the way it is meant to be.
In that secret part of your mind screaming to God to make it happen now. The desire for it to end. The act of bravery on the outside and weakness on the inside. Mind rushing. Pulse quickening. What have you put yourself into? What were you thinking.
The dear midwife friend you chose to walk you down this storm, looking into her eyes, leaning on her wisdom, seeing your victory through her even before you have crossed the line and burst through the ribbon. It doesn't loom so very far now. There it is. Right up there. She saves you, dashes in to toss a life line. You go with her into that next part, that very hard part, because you have no choice. It is forward or nothing. It is what it is. So you follow.
....and there HE is! OUT! Perfect! Chubby! Another boy! Three sons! This is who I worked so hard for, prayed for, ached for, and he is mine! All mine! ....for just a time. ....a sweet perfect time. ...so thankful for this time.
The hush hush of labor ended and the hub bub of the real work beginning...
Offerings from big brother.
Greetings! How do you do's! It is so very nice to meet you!
I was in love, in a snap, in a heartbeat. Our hearts beating apart from each others.
I marveled over each and every day with him...and he grew...
His face my everything...and he grew...
He found this world curiouser and curiouser...and he grew...
He grew my older boys up...and he grew...
He played...and he grew...
He explored...and he grew...
He cried when the fun was over...and he grew...
He showed so much love back to us...and he grew...
Curious and nosey...and he grew...
He went wherever we took him and loved every moment...and he grew...
..the days rushed by and I look and see this 3 year old darling. Grown so perfectly. My green thumb completely evident in his beauty. I made him. His silly self. His joy for each day.
"Mommy, the sun is up, no more sleep!"
"I love you mommy, I love you."
"I love ribbits Mommy, I love Ribbits."
"I went swimming, Mommy."
"I want a Kipper cake, Mommy."
"Let's eat out, Mommy."
"ChuckECheese, Mommy, Yay!"
"Me no like this show, Mommy."
"Me watch tv, Mommy."
"I paint, Mommy."
"My birthday, MOMMY!!???"
"PaPa is home, Mommy!"
"You read book, Mommy."
"No knitting, snuggles."
"Outside, MOMMY!"
"Call Nan, Mommy."
"Remy is mean, Mommy."
His every thought including me. His eyes always searching for me. He is mine. Just for a bit longer.
How to show you all who he is and what he is to me? My third was born and then today I look forward to celebrating his third birthday. I said this last year on his birthday post. I feel like he was born yesterday. I do baby him. I do. He is so little and so sweet to me. I haven't rushed him like I did the first two. I couldn't wait for each milestone with the first two. I slowed down with Noah. He is my blonde one. My blue-eyed one. My third one. My Baby Boy Bleu. My Bumble.
Happy day to you sweet Boy Bleu!!!! You are my joy!!!! I hope your day is perfect just like you! Thankyou for choosing to venture here into our lives. Thankyou for choosing us!
